Memories of Colin

I love this picture of Colin. My dad took this with his fancy schmancy camera one day while Colin was out running around in the front yard and generally being a toddler. As a friend of mine often says, if you look too long at this picture, your head might explode from cuteness overload.

I have a number of memories of Colin in his first two years on our little planet. However, I don’t always write them down or even take pictures of the boy because it’s not something I generally do. Taking pictures is not my cup of tea (although my dad and my sister love it) and I don’t journal/blog that much. More than that, Angela and I aren’t “scrapbook-y” people. I find the whole exercise of creating scrapbooks an exercise in tedium. No offense to those who love to do it. If you love it, I say more power to you. But again, not mine (or Angela’s) cup of tea. So, given my predisposition to avoid the aforementioned activities, how exactly do I document more of Colin’s life? Enter blogging.

If your a fan of this program, you’ll know that I like to write. Whether or not I’m any good at it is certainly up for debate, but amazing feats of wordsmithing aren’t really the province of this blog. It’s more a chance for me to spew forth whatever is on my mind. And Colin is on my mind almost constantly. Because of that, I wanted to document a few of the things that I remember about Colin as of right now (he’s 1 year, 9 months, 19 days and 17 hours old) before I get to that age where I can’t remember anything about him. So, here are a few of my favorite memories of Colin over his short life.

1. Busybody – The kid doesn’t take life sitting down–and I mean that literally. He’s always on the move, always exploring and really, really hates to be limited in his exploration of his surroundings. Even at home, he won’t sit still. I don’t think it’s because he can’t (because he has before) it’s because he’s just so curious.
2. Self-aware – Colin is surprisingly aware of himself and his surroundings. He especially looks at people and has a knack for knowing what they’re thinking and how to communicate with them. He’s also very aware of the world around him and soaks in everything like he doesn’t want to miss anything.
3. He’s Got Brains – For someone his age, he knows a ton of words. Plus, he understands what they mean so he’s not just repeating what we say. He actually comprehends the word and it’s meaning. Of course, he doesn’t always speak clearly so we’ve had to learn Colin’s dialect, but honestly, that’s a blast.  Additionally, I love to give him something new and watch him figure it out. Other than drinking from a straw, he’s very perceptive and can usually figure out how to do something very quick.
4. Here’s a short list of words that mean different things: hawk = sock, hoe = shoe, no = snow  & nose, pana = panda, four = Little Einstiens, baf = bath, nack = snack, moomie = movie, min = medicine, Roggy = Roxie, faffe = giraffe, dipoo = diaper.
5. Sometimes Obsessive – Colin obsesses over things like balls, turning the light switches on and off, ceiling fans, pandas, babies and pooh bear. He is also an expert at creating a mess and leaving it for me to clean up–diaper or otherwise.
6. Adventurous – Colin has tried just about every food I can throw at him and I’m amazed with what he’ll put down. He loves Curry, just about anything spicy and even a little bit of sushi. Not bad for a kid his age.
7. Sweet and Spice, Everything Nice – Beyond everything else, Colin has a very sweet personality. To briefly illustrate, when I was out of work earlier this year, Colin was my only company. He and I hung out every day, all day and I got to experience what it was like to be a full-time caretaker–something I’d never experienced before. And when I had those dark days when it seemed like nothing would ever change, Colin was there to comfort me, smile at me and say “Daddy!” He got me through that rough time in my life (along with no shortage of love and patience from Angela) and it’s something I’ll never forget. When I finally did get a job again, the first thought that went through my head was that I won’t get to spend as much time with Colin and I was surprised by how deeply sad I felt about that. I look at that moment as the moment when I finally realized that being a great husband and father would bring me more joy in my life than anything else I could ever engage in. I can tell you that since that time, I’ve been happier, less sick and less prone to bouts of depression. All because a little boy says “Hi Daddy!” to me everyday.

So, to you Colin, I say cheers! May the next year of your life be as exciting as the last–I know I, for one, can’t wait to see what you grow into.

For no particular reason, my top 8 movies of 2009

You know, I love writing this list. I haven’t done it in a couple of years, and I’m almost certain that no one cares what I think, but I love to write it. And since I’m trying to blog more and write down all the thoughts that spin around in my crazy little (ok, not so little) head, this list is something that comes out of that desire. So, if you’d like to blow past this entry, feel free. If not, enjoy–for whatever it’s worth.

As a point of reference, I saw 31 movies that were released in 2009. That number will probably go up, but only by about three or four more. What does that mean for this list? Essentially, every movie I saw had a one in four chance of making it on to the list. Good odds for the movie, but it does throw my objectivity into question. So, why write the list? Eh, it’s fun.

One more note. 2009 was not a particularly great year for movies. In fact, as I was compiling this list I couldn’t point to one movie and say: “Yep, that movie is the best this year!” That’s also why there are only eight movies instead of the customary ten. To be quite frank, there were far more mediocre movies this year than real standouts and I think I know why. The effects of the writer’s strike is still being felt. The good news is, 2010 looks to be much more promising. So, without further ado, here goes:

1. Star Trek – J.J. Abrams reboot of my beloved franchise was exactly what this compelling and often flawed franchise needed. This is an action movie for brainy geeks and I loved every second of it.
2. Up – The geniuses  at Pixar never fail to amaze me every single year. Their brand of emotional storytelling always gets to me on nearly every level. From silly, to joyful, to wistful, to sad, I feel every genuine emotion that most live-action movies only dream of creating.
3. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – Who knew that a movie franchise, headed into it’s sixth iteration, would still carry the power and poignancy that these stories require. On that fact alone, it deserves to be in the top ten. The fact that it’s also a great movie in it’s own right, means it gets into the top five.
4. Coraline – Weird, wacky and endlessly inventive, I loved this movie for it’s sheer ability to surprise me at nearly every turn. From it’s spectacular design to it’s wonderfully honest story, I couldn’t help but be drawn into this unique world.
5. Drag Me to Hell – Sam Raimi’s delightfully twisted horror flick is the kind of movie I enjoy. It never takes itself too seriously, delivers some genuine thrills as well as more than few laugh-out-loud moments. And that ending. Wow. Didn’t see that coming.
6. Sherlock Holmes – The movie gets a little soggy in the middle, but Robert Downey, Jr. is wonderful as the titular character and his rapport with Jude Law’s Dr. Watson is something most movies have forgotten how to create – real, on-screen chemistry. For what it’s worth, I can’t wait for the sequel.
7. The Princess and the Frog – The third animated movie on this list. Can you tell what kind of films I like? In any case, this is a return to form for Disney. The story is there, the characters are well-drawn (literally and figuratively) and it has all the energy, wit and charm that many of the Disney movies (outside of the Pixar flicks) have lost over the last several years. I just wish the songs were more memorable.
8. Taken – Who knew that a standard chase/revenge flick could offer so much depth. And where did that depth come from? The performance of one Liam Neeson. The guy’s amazing in this movie and turned what could have been another by-the-numbers flick into something incredibly entertaining.

A few other notable lists:

The Worst Movies of 2009

1. Transformers 2 – I was really excited for this movie. Then, Sam’s mom ate marijuana infused brownies and acted like an idiot for 20 minutes. Plus, way too many male anatomy jokes–and I use jokes in the loosest sense of the word.
2. Fame – What a steaming pile of repulsive excrement. When a remake doesn’t even use the iconic theme from the original until the closing credits, that means the filmmakers didn’t understand the original. And that means they made a movie that sucks.
3. Knowing – I was into this movie until the end. And then the movie took a giant left turn and ended up in a great big pile of crap. In fact, as I write this, I’m still ticked off at the ending.
4. Push – Egad, I was bored by this movie. For a movie about super-powered people, I’ve never met a flick so overly-serious and tiresome.

My Top 5 TV Shows of 2009:

1. Glee – For all it’s excess and uneven execution, I can’t help but love this show. Plus, it never ceases to lull me in with it’s wonderful staged and delightful musical numbers.
2. Supernatural – Entering it’s fifth season, the show is a sparkling reminder of how good television can be so rewarding. Funny, tragic, shocking and emotionally moving all at the same time, this show knows how to create a great week-to-week experience.
3. Chuck – For a show about a computer geek who turns into a super spy, it’s surprisingly witty, charming and wonderful. Plus, Adam Baldwin plays someone cranky–and no one does cranky better than Adam Baldwin.
4. Lost – It’s penultimate season was one for the ages. The performances get better and better and the storytelling tighter and more mind-boggling. I can’t wait for the final season.
5. Fringe – The show started out slowly, but it’s second season has been a remarkably fulfilling and exciting piece of television. Plus, John Noble as Walter Bishop is the best performance on television right now.

Well, that’s it. I hope you enjoyed reading the list. If not, may I direct you to a real movie critic who, I think, does a fantastic job. Plus, his reviews of bad movies are great entertainment in and of themselves. Enjoy!

In Which I Post My Resolutions for 2010

So, I have a friend-who does something, I think, is rather cool. At the beginning of the year, he posts a list of ten resolutions that he would like to work on for the year to his blog. Then, at the first of each month, he reports his progress on his blog for all to see. It’s an interesting way of trying to stay on top of your goals as everyone who reads the blog will essentially hold him responsible for his actions. Of course, there won’t be any lynchings or mobbings if he doesn’t reach every goal on his list, but it does keep his goals front and center for the year. Best of all, it gives him a way to keep track of his goals and progress for longer than those first two weeks in January.

So, I’m going to try it because, hey, what do I have to lose? Besides, this will all but guarantee at least 12 blog posts this year which is 12 more than I did in the last twelve months, so that’s a good thing.

I’m going to make one major modification, however. My friend does 10 goals. I’m only going to do five. I realize that by some estimations, this may seem like a cop out. But, given all that I have going on in my life outside of these five goals, I think five is more than enough. If you think I ought to do ten, well, then, good for you. I’m doing five and that’s that.

Now, without further ado, here are the five goals:

1. Lose 20 Pounds – Ok, ok. Everyone has this resolution, I know. But I’ve recently become aware that my body isn’t going to last with the way I currently take care of it. No, I haven’t been to the doctor and no, I haven’t had any major medical scares or procedures. I’m just getting wiser with age–I hope–and my wisdom tells me that I need to start taking better care of myself–hence the goal to lose 20 pounds. The truth is, I could probably stand to lose about 60 or 70, but that seems insurmountable to me, so I’m going to start with 20 this year and see how that goes. Hopefully, a little bit will go a long way and I can start losing some more.
2. Make a significant dent in my student loans – For those of you who don’t know, I have very little consumer debt. It’s so low in fact, that I expect all of it to be gone within the first month of 2010. To get my debt to that level has taken a great deal of sacrifice and work and I’m enjoying not having to make credit card payments every month. However, I have a great deal of student loan debt to pay down and that’s not going to be easy. Without getting too specific, my student loan payments are a lot like having a second mortgage to pay each and every month. Now, I don’t regret getting my education and neither does Angela, but we do have to pay for it and that starts now. So, to make the process faster and smoother, we are committing to pay above and beyond our monthly payment to one of our loans so that we can, hopefully, have it paid down by the end of 2010. That way, it will leave us with a much more manageable 2011 in terms of student loan payments and a lot less stress on my part.
3. Get my start-up business to a state where it starts making money – Didn’t know I had a start up, didya? It’s true! The name of my business is called Open Book Audio and I opened it with a friend of mine from college. You really should check it out. What do we do? Well, in short, we record audiobooks. What kind of audiobooks? Well, that depends on who you ask. We serve two different audiences. First, we serve the self-published author and offer them an inexpensive way to record an audio version of their book and then give them an audience to distribute that book to. Second, we serve small publishing houses where we record their catalog of books and offer to do it inexpensively and efficiently. We do all of this through special agreements with our readers and engineers and harnessing the power of the internet. It’s a great business and something I enjoy very much. The problem is, we haven’t made any money yet. So, it is my goal this year to make us some money. How? Well, that’s yet to be determined, but I think we can make it.
4. Improve my attitude about church through service – I don’t think it’s any secret, but I’m not a huge fan of Sunday services. Oh, don’t get me wrong–I have a testimony of the church (we’re talking LDS or Mormon here, for those who didn’t know) and it’s teachings, doctrine and practices. I believe in the tenants it teaches and what it stands for. Moreover, I firmly believe that this is the only church that truly understands the nature of God and Christ and how I, as an insignificant man, relate to Deity. Because of that, I offer this statement without equivocation: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the only true church on the face of the earth. That said, the Sunday services in my ward (or congregation) are so boring that I’d rather have any number of surgical or dental procedures done to me for several days at a time than sit through a three-hour block of church meetings. At least the doctors give you some type of anesthetic to deal with the pain. At church, you’re simply expected to endure the pain and to say that I don’t endure well is a bit of an understatement. So, in order to combat all this negativity surrounding Sunday services, I’m going to try and find some way to serve while I’m at church. To be honest, what I’m really looking for is a way to feel the spirit and feel close to God–something I don’t get from regular, boring church services. And since I’m not going to be able to change church services any time soon (or ever, for that matter) I figure I’m going to have to do the changing. Hence, service. I know that if I can help one person or do some small act of kindness while I’m at church, I’ll feel the spirit and I can start to get rid of my negativity towards Sunday services. This one won’t be easy, but it needs to be done.
5. Beat at least five video games this year – This may seem like an inconsequential goal, but here me out. In 2009, I bought or had given to me approximately 20 video games. Of those, I’ve played all of them for maybe 10 minutes each. Better yet, I’ve beat only one video game in all of 2009 and it was a game I bought in 2007. Pa.the.tic. So, if I’m going to hang on to these games, I need to start playing the heck out of them and breaking through the pack so that I can justify my purchases. Now, this does have another element to it. As most of you know, I don’t have a great deal of free-time. I spend much of my time with the choir (of the MoTab variety) at work or doing stuff with the family. I rarely get time to sit down and relax just by myself and I need a little bit of that time to help take the edge off my frantic life. Enter video games. I can play for half an hour a day and feel satisfied, rested and like I had some time to myself that day. It’s amazing how good that makes me feel about my life in general. Now, that’s to take nothing away from my family, who I love dearly enjoy spending time with. They are always my first priority. But, the goal this year is to relax a little bit more and not take myself so seriously. Video games will help me do that because, in many ways, there is nothing more childish than a grown man playing games of virtual swordplay and sorcery.

Well that will do it for the introduction. I’ll keep everyone posted on the progress and hopefully, there will be something good to report in February. Until then, enjoy the new year.

The 2009 Christmas Letter

Greetings all!

Let me begin by saying yes. I know. I have not blogged in about a year but there are good reasons for it. Additionally, I’m not much of a blogger (it’s not that I don’t have anything to say–heaven knows I can’t shut up most of the time–or that I don’t like blogging, because I do) it’s just that I’m, well, busy. And blogging falls a little lower on the ol’ totem pole of priorities. That said, I will try to be better at it, because I do like it (and I do love to write) I just can’t make any promises. Mmm…k?

So, to get back into the blogging world, I thought I would start with a Christmas letter. This is like those letters you get from family, friends and acquaintances in your annual Christmas card where they detail how successful/attractive/spiritual/loving/amazing they and their family are. To those types of letters, I say a deep and profound YEESH. Oh sure,  I’ve run across a few clever ones in my day, but honestly, most of them tend to be pedestrian examples of how “awesome” the year was and the “amazing” vacation they went on as a family. Now, I hear my “mom” voice chiming in saying: “some people like to read those letters–it helps them feel connected to people they wouldn’t otherwise see.” That may be true, but I do not fall into that category. As such, my 2009 Christmas Letter will, hopefully, be well written and entertaining and not, well, boring. If it is boring, my apologies. You can send your refund requests to my email address. Let’s get started shall we?

An update on Andrew and his journeyings in the wilderness: 2009 was an interesting year for me. Most of you know, I lost my job in late 2008 and spent the two and half months between jobs in a state of excess depression and utter despair. Think Bella in Twilight after Edward leaves her. Parenthetically: did I just make a Twilight reference? Yeesh. Anyway, after much searching and many, many interviews, I landed a job as the Director of Marketing and Communications for an Orem-based corporate training and development firm called Zenger Folkman. It’s a FABULOUS job with great benefits, a terrific boss, fun people to work with and, best of all, I get to direct the marketing efforts of the entire company–which means I’m putting my degrees to work. I can’t tell you what a blessing this job has been in my life. For the first time, I feel like the work I do actually matters to people and I don’t worry about coming into work. Best of all, I work hard and feel satisfied at the end of the day. It’s amazing what a good job will do for your self-esteem–especially after you haven’t had one for a while.

I’m still singing with the choir (yes, this choir) and enjoying my time there. This past year has been a roller-coaster of performances, concerts and recordings. In fact, other than the 2002 Olympic Winter Games, many are saying this is the busiest year in the choir’s history. All I can say that if it isn’t, it certainly FEELS that way. The last four months of the year saw three different concerts, two album recordings and at least three different mini-concerts on top of the weekly broadcast. I was gone so much that Colin now refuses to let me feed him because he’s so used to his mom doing it. Sad, right? But, overall the experience is one I treasure. There are few times when I’m sitting in the loft singing that I don’t take a moment to reflect on how blessed I am to be there. Hopefully, it will slow down a bit, but I know it probably won’t.

An update on Angela’s life and times: 2009 was an interesting year for Angela. As most of you know, Angela teaches music and started the year at the-school-that-shall-not-be-named. While she was there, she directed their musical, The Wizard of Oz, to great success. She also took her choirs and bands to California where they competed in the Heritage Music Festival in Anaheim. Her choirs competed against other several other schools and won first place out of about 20 groups who competed. Pretty dog gone cool, if you ask me. Her band took third place (out of about seven groups) so they represented quite well. For Angela and I, it was a highlight to take the kids to California, have them compete and have them do so well. Seeing Angela accept the awards was a highlight of my (and I’m sure hers as well) year.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to keep her job. The-school-that-shall-not-be-named dismissed Angela only three weeks after returning from competition. There was a massive outcry from the students and the parents (and rightly so) but the board of that school could not be dissuaded. Moreover, they gave no reason for her dismissal citing “their own privilege.” But, as is the case with these things, the Lord had things in hand. Only two weeks after leaving the-school-that-shall-not-be-named, Angela landed a job teaching music part-time at Summit Academy in Draper. The school is a SIGNIFICANT upgrade from the last one. Her Principal is wonderful, the parents are kind and helpful and she is having a great time. It’s amazing for me that she comes home happy at the end of the day, rather than upset at having to deal with so much drama. It’s been a blessing for all involved.

In her spare time, Angela continues to be the glue that holds us all (read: me) together. She joined the Salt Lake Choral Artists this year and has enjoyed that tremendously. She’s also had time to spend arranging music for her classes and being all creative and stuff. The amount of stuff that girl does, even with just a part-time job, is truly amazing. I wish I had that much energy.

Colin, This is Your Life: Colin is approaching two-years-old (March 14, for those keeping track) and is still our sparkling star. Honestly, the kid has amazing powers of deduction, memory and retention. He remembers almost anything we tell him and he’s always game for an audience. If it wasn’t already written in stone, it is now–the kid’s a performer. He knows when he has an audience and he knows how to work the crowd. In fact, if he knows that people are watching him, he’ll do things he won’t do for us at home. For example, Colin did not start walking until Mother’s Day when we were over at Pat’s house for a family get together. With tons of people around watching, he promptly got to his feet and proceeded to run around the house while everyone around him cheered. At that moment, a star was born.

He’s an unusually happy child with a great deal of energy and happiness. He brings and enormous amount of joy into our lives and I couldn’t ask for a better kid. Besides that, he’s quite the looker–wouldn’t you agree?

Miscellaneous tidbits: We did go on vacation this year–a two-week excursion to France and Italy. It’s ok, you can be jealous. We also visited Disneyland (twice) and NYC on our annual trips. We made a couple of jaunts down to St. George and there’s still one more visit to the south to go this year… I did beat one video game this year, but only one. Conversely, Angela read about 40 books… We still love the movies, although we go less. My favorite movie of the year? Yeah, it’s Star Trek. What? Like you were surprised?… Roxie is still clingy and needy as ever, but she does love us all… I spent a few days in Washington, D.C. for a convention and got to see my sis! Wahoo! … I finally sprung for lawn care because I hate mowing the lawn. Paying someone else to do it–best decision ever… Colin was Batman from Batman: The Brave and the Bold this year for Halloween. When he learned there was candy at every house, he began running indiscriminately up and down the street screaming “candy, candy!” It was hysterical… In NYC, I ate at Bobby Flay’s steakhouse. It was the greatest steak I’ve ever eaten. In fact, I’m craving it right now… Speaking of food, I tried a number of new recipes and am adding to my repertoire of dishes. I do love to cook. Thanks Dad for instilling in me the desire to do so… Last, but not least, Angela is PREGNANT with our second child–due June 25!

Looking ahead: 2010 should, hopefully, be a little less life-changing than 2009. But, hopefully, just as fun. We’re planning a trip to England and a few other things around the house to get ready for the baby. Other than that, it should be a quiet year…for once.

To all of you who read, Merry Christmas! And may the new year bring you good tidings of great joy. And lots of good food.

Tales of the Unemployed – The Bishop’s Storehouse

NOTE: This post is a little heavy on the depression and also a little judgmental. I say that not to pique your interest, but rather to warn you about how you might feel after you read this post. If you choose not to read, that’s just fine, but know that this post doesn’t really have a happy ending. One post in the future will have that happy ending, just not this one.

HERE BEGINS THE REAL POST.

It’s been two months now since I lost my job. Hard to believe, I know, but the shock of it has finally worn off, the exuberance of hope has dulled and the hard truth of reality has set in. Now, the hard truth just kind of presses on my spirit constantly, ready at any moment to simply press me into oblivion. As my dad calls it, I’ve reached “the slogging phase.” Slogging seems like an appropriate word.

Oh sure, this story will have a happy ending, where I summon the remainder of my strength and push back on the hard truth, just in time to save myself and everyone with me. But, just like in all good stories, the hero is trapped, with seemingly no way out and it appears that evil is about to triumph. That’s the stage that I’m in right now and I can tell you exactly where I hit rock bottom. That place is The Bishop’s Storehouse.

For those of you who don’t know (or who aren’t LDS) the Bishop’s Storehouse is a wonderful (and I mean that in the truest sense of the word) place where people who are down on their luck can come and get food, clothing, and other essentials, completely for free and with no obligation towards joining the church, listening to the missionaries or paying it back. It’s true Christian welfare at it’s finest and it’s available to all, regardless of religious affiliation or persuasion. It’s helped countless numbers of people and, in many ways, is the perfect example of what our Savior would do.

With all that said, I decided to take up the offer given to me by my Bishop to go to the storehouse and get whatever we needed. He wanted, genuinely, to help us and my pride, which has been beaten to a pulp, could not refuse a true offer of kindness from someone who wanted to help. So, the wheels were set in motion for our visit to the storehouse.

The way it works is that a member of the Relief Society (that’s the women’s organization of the church) comes to our house and helps fill out a food order. On the food order, there are a number of items available–everything from canned veggies to frozen meat–and you can have as much of it as you want. So, we ordered a ton of stuff, mostly canned and dry goods, to help us stretch the little money we do have left a little further. The order was approved and on Saturday, we went to the Bishop’s Storehouse.

Upon entering the Bishop’s storehouse, I was struck by how small, yet how efficient it was. It’s much like a grocery store, with about five isles of stuff, but there are no frivolous or high-end items. It’s just the essentials, and nothing else. Truth be told, that’s what it should be, but I was still amazed by the efficiency of the operation. And, at first, things were just fine. But as we made our way through the isles and I found that they didn’t have many of the things that we had put on our form, and even less variety, I started to bottom out a little. When we got to the fresh vegetables and found only onions and green peppers, my heart started to sink even more and when I saw that the frozen meat was a little dicey, I really started to freak out.

At that point, I looked up and took a good look at the people that were in the storehouse. This is when I lost it. (And here comes the judgmental part.) These people were not what you would call of high caliber. You could tell by their tattered clothes and general manner that these were people who were used to struggling. For them, a difficult lifestyle was all they had ever known, and I’m certain that many of their choices had only exacerbated their problems. For example, I remember one gentleman in a black hoodie with a lip ring who smelled of stale cigarettes and cheap beer looking directly at me. He had an odd expression on his face that seemed to betray the fact he was surprised to see someone like me there. We locked eyes for a moment and then he moved on, but at that point, I realized that, just like in the story, the wall was closing in and evil was about to triumph. So, I had a choice–I could give up and succumb to depression, or, as my facebook status says, I could try harder to spring hope from the prison of depression. I decided that I had to try the latter.

It’s Monday now, and I’ve tried to keep my spirits up over the last two days, and more specifically, I’ve tried hard to banish the thoughts of “woe is me” and “the world is out to get me” and, even worse “God is punishing me.” It’s not easy to banish these thoughts and I really wish it were as easy as casting a spell, or drawing a sword to slay a few enemies. But I think where the truth in those stories lie is in the fact that many of those demons and bad guys represent real demons in our own lives (forgive the cliche) and the reason we respond the stories (or the reason I do anyway) is because on some level, I believe I can conquer those demons. And even though everything seems bleak right now, I have no choice but to try. Besides, my mom keeps telling me that “life rewards effort” and unless I make that effort and try, of course evil will win.

Angela tells me all the time that what happened to me wasn’t my fault. No one could have seen it coming and sometimes bad things happen. The only thing we have control over is how we react. For me, I think I reacted badly and even a bit naively. Now, I’m going to try acting a little wiser and a little more positively. After all, the hero does have to win the day at some point.

Tales of the Unemployed – Lessons

Sorry for wimping out on my “every day I’m unemployed, I’ll blog about it” idea, but the truth is that shortly after I started that, I started getting lots and lots of interviews. In the last two weeks, I think I’ve been on about 15 interviews and all of them have gone very well. So well, in fact, that I have two companies that are looking at me for a job. Sadly, neither has made an offer yet (a fact I’m all too keenly aware of right now) but I’m sure one of them will pop. The real question here is when.

So, while I’m waiting to announce my new job (and who knows when that will be) I thought I’d write down the five lessons I’ve learned from being unemployed. Oh, there are more, lots more, but these five lessons in particular have been reinforced, seemingly every day, over the course of my unemployment, so I thought I’d share. Besides, it helps me keep my thoughts on the positive while we wait for offers to roll in. So, here goes, in no particular order:

1. Throughout most of my life I’ve been enamored with the entertainments of the world. I guess you could call me a “show junkie.” The latest movies, the hottest TV shows, the coolest video games, I had the information about the popular culture of the day at my fingertips. In fact, I used to read movie credits just so I could be in the know about what was going on in the industry. 

The truth is, when you’re unemployed, all that stuff goes away. Over the past several weeks, I’ve been to the grocery store a few times to pick up the essentials, and I see magazines touting the latest celebrity romances and new fangled movies and music to dazzle the eye and delight the senses and it all seems so shallow to me now. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy movies or music, or entertainment at all. I just understand what it’s purpose is and I’m not so enamored with it as I once was.

What’s replaced it? A healthy sense of what is really important in life. I know that may sound hokey, but it’s true. I find myself more concerned these days with the health of Colin and Angela’s happiness and fulfillment than in my own need to be the fount of all pop-culture knowledge. Even more than that, I’m realizing that my calling and responsibilities in the church and my relationship with God and Jesus Christ are becoming a more vital and important part of my life. Of course, I’ll never be one of those overly-pious types (it’s just not in my nature) but I am deepening my desire to focus on the eternal rather than on the here and now, and it’s made me a much more patient and broad-minded person.

2. Trials suck, but I understand now why people say they are grateful for them. For a long time in my life, I’ve often wondered how you could be grateful for a trial. After all, they’re hard to deal with, painful and can last for a very, very long time. Why would anyone be grateful for the suffering? To me, it smacked of piety gone bad and self-aggrandizement. And while that may be true for some, it’s not that way for all. If there is one thing I’ve learned about trials, is that they can be great learning experiences and that often times, something really good always comes out of a trial, both in a spiritual and a physical sense. So even though trials suck, I’ve learned now that having faith in the midst of that trial will help you learn the lessons you need to learn and give you hope that something better is just around that corner, and that’s a very comforting thought.

3. Work is not a right, it’s a privilege. This one was a bit tougher to learn. After all, I’ve paid my dues in school, it’s my right to be successful as an adult. The truth is, all that schooling I got, while valuable and absolutely necessary, failed to teach me anything about what it meant to be in the real world. I always figured that if you were well schooled and well liked, you’d never have to worry about finding a job. That, of course, proved unfounded and I’ve found myself being grateful for past jobs that I had. Additionally, when I do land my new job, I’ll be grateful for it. Not in a kiss the carpet, thank goodness kind of way, but in a more I recognize the opportunity and will do everything I can to make the most of it kind of way. In that way, I understand that it isn’t my right to work, it’s a privilege and it’s up to me to make it into something that is meaningful and fulfilling.

4. Trusting in the Lord is hard. This one is particularly sensitive to me right now since I’m still waiting on an offer and there is nothing I can do to get the offer faster or prove how much better I am than the other candidate. That’s all in the past and I have to now trust the Lord that I he presented me with the opportunity I requested, or he is going to deny me and I’m going to have to learn a few more lessons. Either way, I know that the Lord is guiding my paths for good and I’m choosing to trust that He will continue to do so.

5. Kindness is a viable commodity, especially in business. As I’ve networked with friends from school and past jobs, many have shown me a great deal of kindness and warmth. I hope that they have extended that to me because I’ve extended that to them. I’ve always tried to be gracious and gentlemanly in doing business, but I find now that genuine kindness is something that will get you into doors and keep you in people’s minds far longer than just about anything I can think of. That’s not to say you shouldn’t do your job, but by extending kindness to others, I’ll always have a reserve of kindness to come back to when I need it most.

That’s it for now, but those are a few of the lessons I’ve learned from this unemployment gig. Hopefully, it won’t last too much longer.

Tales of the Unemployed – Day 3

Resumes Sent Out: 9
Networking Phone Calls/Emails: 13
Interviews: 0
Feelings of Inadequacy: 2
Feelings of Hope: 2
Meetings: 1

I started today by meeting with an employment specialist at the LDS employment agency. She’s a nice gal and had a number of things to tell me that helped. Apparently, the church as a regular networking meeting every Monday morning at LDS Business College downtown. I will be attending that. Apparently, nearly 100 people show up every week and it’s a great way to meet people, get introduced and network like crazy.

Speaking of networking like crazy, I’ve gone through everyone I know on Linked In and Facebook and added them to my list of people. My hope is that when they come to my profile and see that I’m job hunting, they’ll get in contact with me if they know of anything. If not, that just means I get to call them later and ask (read: harrass) until I get a possible lead on a job. Networking isn’t pretty (it feels a lot like cold calling) but it’s something that has to be done. And that’s tough for me because I hate cold calling. Ah, well. No time like the present to get over one’s fears.

One of the good things about being unemployed is you can ask for recommendations from old colleagues. Assuming they give you a good one, the recommendations are a nice little ego trip and a reminder that you’re not completely incompetent. After all, being unemployed means a certain level of self-deprecation, and the recommendations help to mitigate the feeling.

If you’d like, you can read a few of my recommendations online at my Linked In profile. Of course, you’ll have to click on the button marked “View Full Profile” to read the recommendations, but it’s not too hard to find.

On a more personal note, I find that being unemployed gives me a great deal of time for self-reflection and evaluation. I try not to let it overwhelm me (if I did, heaven knows how far down the self-deprecating road I could go) but I am trying to, as my dad says, learn a few lessons. Here is one I’ve learned so far.

Since I’ve never been unemployed before in my life, I’ve had time to evaluate what really matters. I find myself clinging to my wife, my son and my family in ways that I never thought I would have to. While I know that probably seems obvious to some, I’ve never been one to rely on others for this level of support. I’ve always been happy to give support to friends and family, but I hate asking for help. I always feel a little weaker and a little less self-sufficient if I have to. What I’m finding is that I should rely on my family and friends in every aspect of my life, just like they rely on me. In that way, I’m more engaged with their lives and they more with me. The lesson I’ve learned here is that, essentially, no man is an island, no matter how stubbornly they cling to being one.

Hopefully, things will start to pick up here soon for interviews. Heaven knows they have to soon.

See you tomorrow!

Tales of the Unemployed – Day 2

Resumes Sent Out: 11
Networking Phone Calls/Emails: 8
Interviews: 0
Feelings of Inadequacy: 2
Feelings of Hope: 4
Suits Bought: 2

Today was better than yesterday. I think that’s because my expectations for today were a great deal more reasonable than yesterday. See, yesterday, I sat down at the computer expecting to get a glut of emails and phone calls from people about possible opportunities. Sadly, that never materialized and instead I was left with the silence of my own mind. Sometimes, that can be a bad thing. But today, I didn’t have those expectations. Instead, when I sat down at the computer, I accomplished the tasks I wanted to, looked for more opportunities, and essentially, did more grunt work. It was pretty or glamorous, but it is something that needs to be done.

Since I’ve started this process, I’ve found unemployment to be a lonely game. Don’t get me wrong, I have support from friends and family all over the place–and I’m extremely grateful. But large portions of the day are just me, my phone and the computer, and I have to try and motivate myself every minute of everyday while trying to keep the denizens of depression away. It’s a tough battle, and one that, I’ll admit, I feel somewhat unprepared for.

That said, today did not provide any spectacular revelations or stunning job offers. It was simply a day where I sent out resumes, completed a few questionnaires, called a few friends and that was it. Hopefully, tomorrow, we’ll get a little bit more excitement. But even if that’s not the case, then all I can do is to keep trying. After all, when I give up is when I’ve lost.

Side note: Did get two suits today from Mr. Mac. They are great looking suits and I’m excited to wear them to my first interview. Hopefully, that won’t be too far in the future.

See you tomorrow!

Tales of the Unemployed – Day 1

My name is Andrew Parker. And I am unemployed.

The story so far…

About a month ago, I was offered a great job with a company (who shall remain nameless for the time being) to be their Senior Marketing Manager. It was a great opportunity with good pay and the chance for advancement. In order to take the job, I left a company that I had been with for over nine years. At the time, I thought it was a great move. After all, there wasn’t a great deal of advancement available to me and I had just finished my MBA. I was ready to move on and to break out and do something cool.

Sadly, only four weeks after I started at “the company” I was laid off because “the company” was in financial distress. Why they didn’t tell me this when they first hired me is anybody’s guess, but there is nothing that can be done about it now. Instead, all I’m left with is unfulfilled opportunity and a dire need to find a new job.

Being unemployed is a strange thing. I go from completely driven and hopeful, to worrisome and filled with downright terror in just a matter of moments. I have a good friend who told me to expect the roller coaster of emotions. I guess I just didn’t realize how roller-coastery they would be. After all, I’ve never been unemployed.

So, to help combat the roller coaster of emotions, I plan to do a short daily blog post about my unemployement activities. I’ll include some vital statistics, and a few thoughts on the day, but hopefully, this blog will give me an outlet for my myriad of emotions. Hopefully, it will also help me meet my goals.

So, for today, here is the statistical report:

Resumes sent out: 14
Networking phone calls made/emails sent: 17
Interviews: 0
Feelings of Inadequacy: 4
Feelings of hope: 3

See you all tomorrow.

A post? A post, you say?

I visited my blog this morning and came to a painful realization – I have posted three times in 2008. Mostly, I want to apologize to my dad and my sister (who I understand visit everyday with the yet unfulfilled hope of having an update…hope springs eternal I guess) and to everyone else who visits on a semi-regular basis, hopefully, you’ll come back and read once I start posting more.

I’ve made it a goal to do a blog post once a week to keep you up to date. I don’t know how this will work out or if I’ll even have stuff to say, but at any rate, it’s a goal and I’ll try to keep up with it.

I know that the excuse for not keeping a blog up to date is that “I have nothing to say” and truth be told, I think I fall into that category. I know that some people use their blog to simply say what’s on thier mind, regardless of what people think about them, and I’m just not like that. I don’t know what you call it (my mom says it’s my British Reserve) but I have a hard time sharing my feelings in a public forum. Mostly, I just want people to like me or be impressed with me which is why you see a lot of posts about my experiences with the choir. When I make a post, I imagine people saying “oooo!” and “ahhh!” and shaking their head in disbelief at the awesomeness of my life.  And, honestly, that’s what I want people to think.

However, as I’ve grown older, I’m starting to throw caution to the wind. Not in a carefree, hippy, free love sort of way, but more in a i-don’t-care-what-you-think way. Having this sensibility is strangely liberating. I also feel much more confident about myself and sure of who I am and what I think. I wonder if that comes from the fact that I’m not in school anymore and I have my degrees and my “preparation for life” is really over. Now, I’m more interested in actually living life rather than spending time preparing for what is to come.

If this post seems a little more rambling in nature than previous posts, it’s because I’m just trying to write stream of consciousness here. Hopefully, you’ll still think I’m awesome, regardless of what weirdness comes out of my brain – and believe me, there is weirdness to spare.

On an unrelated note, I’m looking for a new job. It’s not to say that I don’t like my current job (or the people I work with) but as I talk to many of my friends who graduated with their MBA, I find that I’m getting the proverbial kick in the head when it comes to pay. In addition, I did some research and found that, not only do I think I’m getting a kick in the head over salary, the internets and their more reputable sites like monster.com and salary.com actually have told me that I’m getting a kick in the head. So, yeah, I’m looking for a new job. If you know of a good one, please let me know. (Also, I understand that putting this information in a public forum is risky. The good news is that my blog is not known to my boss or anyone who would care at “The Company.” And yes, I’ll keep it that way.)

On yet another unrelated note, Angela is doing just fine (although school, and parents can drive her crazy…me too for that matter) but she seems to be very confident and sure of what she is doing at all times. It’s interesting for me to watch her work because she’s so dedicated to her students and spends much of her free time at home staring at her laptop either scanning music for playback or working out the details of her tour. When I’m lounging she’s working and yet still has enough strength to take care of Colin and me. Her capacity is truly inspiring.

Colin is doing fine. He’s growing, smiling and becoming a little boy quicker than I could have imagined. I’ll post pictures hopefully later.

Anyway, that’s it. Hopefully, I’ll have something more to say next week. Until then…